Yet another email that was fwd'ed to me .. pretty good stuff here :)
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
25. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
26. If you had to identify, in 1 word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, & never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
27. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
29. You should not confuse your career with your life.
30. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
31. Never lick a steak knife.
32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
35. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday and stop giving wedgies. That time is age eleven.
36. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
37. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
38. Your friends love you anyway.
39. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Saturday, December 1, 2007
This is something I received in an e-mail .. hehehe .. kinda funny :)
22 Ways To Be A Good Liberal
THIS IS NOT SO HARD -- EVEN A CAVE MAN CAN DO IT....
1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AID's virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and A.G. Bell.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.
17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.
19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.
21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.
22. You have to believe that it's okay to give Federal workers the day off on Christmas Day .......... but it's not okay to say "Merry Christmas."
22 Ways To Be A Good Liberal
THIS IS NOT SO HARD -- EVEN A CAVE MAN CAN DO IT....
1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AID's virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and A.G. Bell.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.
17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.
19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.
21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.
22. You have to believe that it's okay to give Federal workers the day off on Christmas Day .......... but it's not okay to say "Merry Christmas."
Saturday, October 27, 2007
72 Rules Men Should Remember about Drinking
1. There is no such thing as a chocolate martini.
2. There is no shame in club soda and cranberry juice.
3. There is a reason for the scarcity of piano bars.
4. Visiting the pub will be cheaper in the long run if you tip the bartender regularly and more generously than is necessary.
5. Never order a frozen drink in a place that serves pickled eggs.
6. Actually, never order a frozen drink.
7. It's also not a bad idea to eschew the pickled pigs' feet, although their presence is fairly strong evidence that you've accidentally stumbled upon a real tavern.
8. For the sake of the children, leave the pistol at home.
9. Champagne is a place. Bordeaux is a place. Champale is not a place.
10. Grappa is to lighter fluid as ouzo is to lighter fluid.
11. Garnish matters.
12. Despite a high ratio of female clientele, an insouciant way with fried mozzarella, and their prevalence in resort towns, establishments where a waitress pours shots into your mouth from a bottle she holsters in a bandolier are fraught with peril.
13. When throwing a party, break the seals on all liquor bottles, lest guests should hesitate to open them and come to doubt your hospitality.
14. Better yet: Hire a bartender.
15. The perfect manhattan: two parts bourbon, one part sweet vermouth, bitters, and a splash of cherry juice. Over rocks or not.
16. At the holiday office party, consume one drink less than your boss.
17. Adopt a new favorite cocktail on a seasonal basis.
18. That sangria means "bloodletting" is more a cautionary note than a simple fact.
19. Dry martinis, being nothing but gin, aren't all they're cracked up to be.
20. If you still want a martini, know that you cannot actually bruise gin, so go ahead and shake.
21. On the other hand, shaking introduces air bubbles that make the martini look cloudy for a time, so stir, already, if you're so particular.
22. Drinks that give you bad breath: beer, anything sweet, anything with milk.
23. Drinks that give you good breath: gin and tonic, gimlet, vodka and cranberry, anything with citrus.
24. Instead of ordering that shot of After Shock to cap off the evening, one could just walk calmly into the street, lie down, and wait.
25. Alternatively, you could pinch the bouncer's ass.
26. Every man should know how to make at least one drink from a foreign country, preferably one taught to him by a local female with whom he has had a complicated, unresolved, and quite possibly dangerous dalliance.
27. The perfect negroni: four parts gin, one part sweet vermouth, and one part Campad shaken with ice and strained. Orange peel.
28. Citrus cocktails benefit greatly from rubbing lemon peel around the rim of the glass.
29. Jack Daniel's. Rocks.
30. Fresh orange juice. Fresh lemon juice. Fresh lime juice.
31. The perfect margarita: one part fresh lime juice, one part Cointreau, and one and a half parts tequila over ice.
32. On those chrome, hourglass-shaped bar measuring cups, the big side is the jigger. The little side is the pony. Never use the pony.
33. If you must: single-malt Scotch in a brandy snifter with a splash of water.
34. Avoid bars that use plastic cups, bars whose bathrooms consist solely of a trough-style urinal, bars with chicken wire protecting the band, bars where Patrick Swayze is the bouncer.
35. There is rarely any genuine need to shout "Skal!" "Na zdorovye!" "Slainte!" "Bottoms up!" or "Down the hatch!"
36. No one but the bouncer cares how tough you are, and he already knows you're not that tough.
37. A thought for the holidays: Gift wine should not be recognizable as having come from a grocery store.
38. Gift wine, being a gift, is not for tonight's party. Unless the host opens it.
39. Decent wine costs 15 dollars. Good wine costs 35 dollars. Nobody can tell the difference.
40. Never drink in a place that calls itself an eatery.
41. The cosmopolitan is over.
42. Rye isn't as popular as it used to be.
43. The perfect highball: one part rye to three parts ginger ale over Ice.
44. There is no upside to karaoke.
45. There is an ever-so-slight upside to a wet-T-Shirt contest, as long as you're not in it.
46. It is not necessary to request premium liquor for a mixed drink in which you cannot taste it, such as a gimlet or sour.
47. On the other hand, ascertain exactly how nonpremium the "well" liquor is before you opt against the good stuff.
48. Sitting at the bar works only for two people. Three or more requires a table.
49. Always check your fly before leaving the john.
50. If you were sitting in the john, make sure your wallet did not fall onto the floor.
51. Try to take care of the sitting thing at home.
52. Never utter the words I and love and you if you've had more than three drinks.
53. If you're a lightweight, make that one drink.
54. The perfect Shirley Temple: ginger ale over ice to fill a wineglass, splash grenadine, orange slice, lemon twist, cherry.
55. If a bartender makes you flail your arms or beg for service, well, obviously, leave.
56. Don't call the bartender Barkeep, Chief, Buddy, or Ace, unless his actual name, in fact, is Barkeep, Chief, Buddy, or Ace.
57. Even if you have ascertained your bartender's name, behaving overly familiar with him will be seen as a pathetic gambit for free drinks or, worse, proof that you have nobody to go to for affection other than a random service-industry professional who does not, in fact, know you and just wants your money.
58. Once you've fallen off a stool, there is little you can say to the bartender that will change his mind about asking you to leave.
59. Don't eat the worm.
60. If you don't smoke and you're in a bar, don't complain about other people who happen to be smoking, because, virtuous friend, you are in a bar.
61. Instead of trying to remember whether it's "beer before liquor" or the other way around, just be an adult and stick to one or the other.
62. Acceptable drinks for men: beer, wine, whiskey, cocktails that are neither sweet nor made with dairy or fruit other than lime or lemon or orange.
63. Acceptable drinks for women: whatever they want, except a certain few.
64. A certain few: the grasshopper, the Long Island iced tea, the pink lady, and any variety of spritzer.
65. Also unacceptable: drinks whose names mimic critical medical conditions or copulative acts and their secretions.
66. And while we're on the subject, drinks that are named after supposedly cute body parts, like navels, which are actually disgusting repositories for sebaceous grime: No.
67. All of that said, never question a woman's drink choice.
68. If you're the first in the group to arrive and you start a tab on your card, you deserve exactly what's coming to you.
69. Campari shaken with ice and strained into a martini glass.
70. Unless you are lounging on the Promenade Deck, do not drink from a fruit.
71. The perfect martini: There is no such thing as the perfect martini. Make it the way it tastes best to you.
72. Provided that you remember that there is no such thing as a chocolate martini.
2. There is no shame in club soda and cranberry juice.
3. There is a reason for the scarcity of piano bars.
4. Visiting the pub will be cheaper in the long run if you tip the bartender regularly and more generously than is necessary.
5. Never order a frozen drink in a place that serves pickled eggs.
6. Actually, never order a frozen drink.
7. It's also not a bad idea to eschew the pickled pigs' feet, although their presence is fairly strong evidence that you've accidentally stumbled upon a real tavern.
8. For the sake of the children, leave the pistol at home.
9. Champagne is a place. Bordeaux is a place. Champale is not a place.
10. Grappa is to lighter fluid as ouzo is to lighter fluid.
11. Garnish matters.
12. Despite a high ratio of female clientele, an insouciant way with fried mozzarella, and their prevalence in resort towns, establishments where a waitress pours shots into your mouth from a bottle she holsters in a bandolier are fraught with peril.
13. When throwing a party, break the seals on all liquor bottles, lest guests should hesitate to open them and come to doubt your hospitality.
14. Better yet: Hire a bartender.
15. The perfect manhattan: two parts bourbon, one part sweet vermouth, bitters, and a splash of cherry juice. Over rocks or not.
16. At the holiday office party, consume one drink less than your boss.
17. Adopt a new favorite cocktail on a seasonal basis.
18. That sangria means "bloodletting" is more a cautionary note than a simple fact.
19. Dry martinis, being nothing but gin, aren't all they're cracked up to be.
20. If you still want a martini, know that you cannot actually bruise gin, so go ahead and shake.
21. On the other hand, shaking introduces air bubbles that make the martini look cloudy for a time, so stir, already, if you're so particular.
22. Drinks that give you bad breath: beer, anything sweet, anything with milk.
23. Drinks that give you good breath: gin and tonic, gimlet, vodka and cranberry, anything with citrus.
24. Instead of ordering that shot of After Shock to cap off the evening, one could just walk calmly into the street, lie down, and wait.
25. Alternatively, you could pinch the bouncer's ass.
26. Every man should know how to make at least one drink from a foreign country, preferably one taught to him by a local female with whom he has had a complicated, unresolved, and quite possibly dangerous dalliance.
27. The perfect negroni: four parts gin, one part sweet vermouth, and one part Campad shaken with ice and strained. Orange peel.
28. Citrus cocktails benefit greatly from rubbing lemon peel around the rim of the glass.
29. Jack Daniel's. Rocks.
30. Fresh orange juice. Fresh lemon juice. Fresh lime juice.
31. The perfect margarita: one part fresh lime juice, one part Cointreau, and one and a half parts tequila over ice.
32. On those chrome, hourglass-shaped bar measuring cups, the big side is the jigger. The little side is the pony. Never use the pony.
33. If you must: single-malt Scotch in a brandy snifter with a splash of water.
34. Avoid bars that use plastic cups, bars whose bathrooms consist solely of a trough-style urinal, bars with chicken wire protecting the band, bars where Patrick Swayze is the bouncer.
35. There is rarely any genuine need to shout "Skal!" "Na zdorovye!" "Slainte!" "Bottoms up!" or "Down the hatch!"
36. No one but the bouncer cares how tough you are, and he already knows you're not that tough.
37. A thought for the holidays: Gift wine should not be recognizable as having come from a grocery store.
38. Gift wine, being a gift, is not for tonight's party. Unless the host opens it.
39. Decent wine costs 15 dollars. Good wine costs 35 dollars. Nobody can tell the difference.
40. Never drink in a place that calls itself an eatery.
41. The cosmopolitan is over.
42. Rye isn't as popular as it used to be.
43. The perfect highball: one part rye to three parts ginger ale over Ice.
44. There is no upside to karaoke.
45. There is an ever-so-slight upside to a wet-T-Shirt contest, as long as you're not in it.
46. It is not necessary to request premium liquor for a mixed drink in which you cannot taste it, such as a gimlet or sour.
47. On the other hand, ascertain exactly how nonpremium the "well" liquor is before you opt against the good stuff.
48. Sitting at the bar works only for two people. Three or more requires a table.
49. Always check your fly before leaving the john.
50. If you were sitting in the john, make sure your wallet did not fall onto the floor.
51. Try to take care of the sitting thing at home.
52. Never utter the words I and love and you if you've had more than three drinks.
53. If you're a lightweight, make that one drink.
54. The perfect Shirley Temple: ginger ale over ice to fill a wineglass, splash grenadine, orange slice, lemon twist, cherry.
55. If a bartender makes you flail your arms or beg for service, well, obviously, leave.
56. Don't call the bartender Barkeep, Chief, Buddy, or Ace, unless his actual name, in fact, is Barkeep, Chief, Buddy, or Ace.
57. Even if you have ascertained your bartender's name, behaving overly familiar with him will be seen as a pathetic gambit for free drinks or, worse, proof that you have nobody to go to for affection other than a random service-industry professional who does not, in fact, know you and just wants your money.
58. Once you've fallen off a stool, there is little you can say to the bartender that will change his mind about asking you to leave.
59. Don't eat the worm.
60. If you don't smoke and you're in a bar, don't complain about other people who happen to be smoking, because, virtuous friend, you are in a bar.
61. Instead of trying to remember whether it's "beer before liquor" or the other way around, just be an adult and stick to one or the other.
62. Acceptable drinks for men: beer, wine, whiskey, cocktails that are neither sweet nor made with dairy or fruit other than lime or lemon or orange.
63. Acceptable drinks for women: whatever they want, except a certain few.
64. A certain few: the grasshopper, the Long Island iced tea, the pink lady, and any variety of spritzer.
65. Also unacceptable: drinks whose names mimic critical medical conditions or copulative acts and their secretions.
66. And while we're on the subject, drinks that are named after supposedly cute body parts, like navels, which are actually disgusting repositories for sebaceous grime: No.
67. All of that said, never question a woman's drink choice.
68. If you're the first in the group to arrive and you start a tab on your card, you deserve exactly what's coming to you.
69. Campari shaken with ice and strained into a martini glass.
70. Unless you are lounging on the Promenade Deck, do not drink from a fruit.
71. The perfect martini: There is no such thing as the perfect martini. Make it the way it tastes best to you.
72. Provided that you remember that there is no such thing as a chocolate martini.
Friday, September 21, 2007
My Very FIRST Blog .. bits of random jargon
Just thought I would use this part of my page to express some thoughts that I often ponder. Hope everyone enjoys .. if not, I never asked you to read it :> BTW, my opinions are not specifically directed to anyone .. just bits of random jargon.
Something I don't really understand, but have major problems with is the shameful, cowardly attempt by some to verbalize their fatuous opinions of other people. Somewhat generalized statement, I know .. whatever though.
C'mon people .. is your life really that boring and insignificant that you feel the strong desire to sit around bad-mouthing people? I've started to notice how a lot of people use networking sites, such as this one, to spread their imprudent words. I know I seem like a hypocrit, but kiss my ass :> Honestly, I can't even fathom living in a world of discontent.
If you are slightly on the portly side and wanna talk about how fat other people are, we live in a country where we practice freedom of speech, so pork on, keep expressing much of your own insecurities .. if you wanna proclaim to have the "I don't care about [insert idea here, i.e. clothing labels] " attitude, go right ahead bc hey genius people see right through it based on [using my example] how important money is to your life.
Throughout my life, I've learned that no matter how much you care, some people are just assholes and they enjoy being that way. It must suck to live such a lonely life.
I really don't understand why so many people talk so much garbage .. maybe it is a means of making themselves feel more empowered, maybe they just like to be involved in drama .. whatever the deal is, either find your self esteem, or get another hobby. Lastly, I am pretty much an open book .. so, please don't assume things based on "fact" based presumptions from senseless individuals, just ask me.
random
Something I don't really understand, but have major problems with is the shameful, cowardly attempt by some to verbalize their fatuous opinions of other people. Somewhat generalized statement, I know .. whatever though.
C'mon people .. is your life really that boring and insignificant that you feel the strong desire to sit around bad-mouthing people? I've started to notice how a lot of people use networking sites, such as this one, to spread their imprudent words. I know I seem like a hypocrit, but kiss my ass :> Honestly, I can't even fathom living in a world of discontent.
If you are slightly on the portly side and wanna talk about how fat other people are, we live in a country where we practice freedom of speech, so pork on, keep expressing much of your own insecurities .. if you wanna proclaim to have the "I don't care about [insert idea here, i.e. clothing labels] " attitude, go right ahead bc hey genius people see right through it based on [using my example] how important money is to your life.
Throughout my life, I've learned that no matter how much you care, some people are just assholes and they enjoy being that way. It must suck to live such a lonely life.
I really don't understand why so many people talk so much garbage .. maybe it is a means of making themselves feel more empowered, maybe they just like to be involved in drama .. whatever the deal is, either find your self esteem, or get another hobby. Lastly, I am pretty much an open book .. so, please don't assume things based on "fact" based presumptions from senseless individuals, just ask me.
random
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
40 MISTAKES MEN MAKE WHILE HAVING SEX WITH WOMEN
I borrowed this from someone else .. lol!! So funny I HAD to post it everywhere .. lol! :)
40 MISTAKES MEN MAKE WHILE HAVING SEX WITH WOMEN
1) NOT KISSING FIRST.
Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by cutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay.
2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR.
Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a
difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.
3) NOT SHAVING.
You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which you rake repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.
4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST.
Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.
5) BITING HER NIPPLES.
Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp down like they're trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive. They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your tongue across them is good. Pretending they're a dogie toy isn't.
6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES.
Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and
thumb like you're trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on
the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.
7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY.
A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and
West, and the Midtown Tunnel. There are vast areas of her body which you've ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. So start paying them some attention.
8) GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED.
Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled
fingers and underpants. If you're going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the damn things off.
9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT.
Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it, you store it.
10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS.
Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along
side of the clitoris.
11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK.
Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not there, keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.
12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY.
Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the
waist with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid's toy.
13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY.
Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy. Pulling the
material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not.
14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA.
Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still believe that the vagina is where it's all at. No sooner is your hand down there than you're trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is okay in principle, but if you're not careful, it can hurt - so don't get carried away. It's best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior of her vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her and see if she likes it.
15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY.
You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in
the mood. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.
16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY.
Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at least made some move toward getting your stuff off, even if it's just undoing a couple of buttons.
17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST.
A man in socks and underpants is a at his worst. Lose the socks fist.
18) GOING TOO FAST.
When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial power tool - she'll soon feel like an
assembly-line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly, with clean, straight, regular thrusts.
19) GOING TOO HARD.
If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few seconds.
20) COMING TOO SOON.
Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.
21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH.
It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the
mark of a sex god, but to her it's more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to hold her interest while you're playing Marathon Man.
22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME.
You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you really don't know, don't ask
23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY.
Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.
24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN.
Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it
will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this. It's about three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.
25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX.
Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it. When she's performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do what's necessary.
26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO.
Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie
there. And don't grab her head.
27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES.
In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more laundry to do.
28) MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES.
Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all
the hard work is not. Caress her gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so much like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.
29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being drunk is an excuse.
30) TAKING PICTURES.
When a man says, "Can I take a photo of you?" she'll hear the words "__to show my buddies." At least let her have custody of them.
31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH.
Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off. Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.
32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS.
There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a belching contest.
33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES.
If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.
34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE.
Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women don't.
35) GIVING LOVE BITES.
It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end.
36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS.
Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It's not a big turn-on.
37) TALKING DIRTY.
It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know
38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES.
You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and she might even do the same for you.
39) SQUASHING HER.
Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too
heavily, she will turn blue.
40) THANKING HER.
40 MISTAKES MEN MAKE WHILE HAVING SEX WITH WOMEN
1) NOT KISSING FIRST.
Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by cutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay.
2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR.
Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a
difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.
3) NOT SHAVING.
You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which you rake repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.
4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST.
Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.
5) BITING HER NIPPLES.
Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp down like they're trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive. They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your tongue across them is good. Pretending they're a dogie toy isn't.
6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES.
Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and
thumb like you're trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on
the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.
7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY.
A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and
West, and the Midtown Tunnel. There are vast areas of her body which you've ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. So start paying them some attention.
8) GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED.
Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled
fingers and underpants. If you're going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the damn things off.
9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT.
Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it, you store it.
10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS.
Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along
side of the clitoris.
11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK.
Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not there, keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.
12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY.
Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the
waist with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid's toy.
13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY.
Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy. Pulling the
material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not.
14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA.
Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still believe that the vagina is where it's all at. No sooner is your hand down there than you're trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is okay in principle, but if you're not careful, it can hurt - so don't get carried away. It's best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior of her vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her and see if she likes it.
15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY.
You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in
the mood. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.
16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY.
Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at least made some move toward getting your stuff off, even if it's just undoing a couple of buttons.
17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST.
A man in socks and underpants is a at his worst. Lose the socks fist.
18) GOING TOO FAST.
When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial power tool - she'll soon feel like an
assembly-line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly, with clean, straight, regular thrusts.
19) GOING TOO HARD.
If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few seconds.
20) COMING TOO SOON.
Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.
21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH.
It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the
mark of a sex god, but to her it's more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to hold her interest while you're playing Marathon Man.
22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME.
You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you really don't know, don't ask
23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY.
Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.
24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN.
Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it
will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this. It's about three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.
25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX.
Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it. When she's performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do what's necessary.
26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO.
Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie
there. And don't grab her head.
27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES.
In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more laundry to do.
28) MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES.
Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all
the hard work is not. Caress her gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so much like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.
29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being drunk is an excuse.
30) TAKING PICTURES.
When a man says, "Can I take a photo of you?" she'll hear the words "__to show my buddies." At least let her have custody of them.
31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH.
Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off. Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.
32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS.
There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a belching contest.
33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES.
If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.
34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE.
Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women don't.
35) GIVING LOVE BITES.
It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end.
36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS.
Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It's not a big turn-on.
37) TALKING DIRTY.
It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know
38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES.
You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and she might even do the same for you.
39) SQUASHING HER.
Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too
heavily, she will turn blue.
40) THANKING HER.
Saturday, September 8, 2007
Internet Fidelity
I just can't help myself .. call me the "blog thief". After randomly surfing the myspace realm, I stumbled upon something that I think needed more attention .. a place where people can comment w/out it being approved by anyone first. For the sake of ridicule the author shall remain anonymous. Here is their blog:
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Internet fidelity
Is it me? Or would a girl who has 100 guy friends and 10 girlfriends considered a little ~Loose? Or maybe risky? I am putting it very lightly. Maybe we can use the word whorish here… No by definition you cant, there isn't sex being exchanged. Flirty? What word would you describe a woman who interacts/flirts with fifty plus men a week/month, besides a truck driver cashier? This comment is not directed to any one person…because we all know that you are the one exception to the rule. It is funny how everyone is. "But seriously, I just use it to keep up with old friends," and "I know them all." WOW do you have a lot of old guy friends?! Did you used to be a hooker? I would bet that there are hookers that have less male clients than you're myspace account does... And still do well. So why is it that women seem to think they need so many men to flirt with at any given time. I have looked around, Right now, go to your comments and see how many men just stopped in to say hello? Hey baby? "Hey girl! how are you? thanx for the add. its been a long minute since we talked. Or How about the guy that just goes around and says "what a hottie!" to every girl. Droppin a line, girl how you been, lets get our party on, mmm I like to eat ice How do you think that makes you look? Hey maybe it is because you put the sexiest photo you could of yourself on the internet? Or one that portraits you out to a clubby? Maybe that is why all these random guys come along and are your friends. Here is one of my favorites.... I don't know why he is my buddy. I don't talk to him. Well genius, it is cause you said sure you can be my buddy. Cause that is the only way. So anybody here is someone you invited in. Which in turn, kind of shows how friendly you really are. Btw….look at all of those classy guys in your friends column. Birds of a feather… and who in the world would be shown holding a beer can? Besides most 19 year old guys trying to act cool? It just boggles my mind why we all think we need to have so many acquaintances only the fly. Are we all that insecure or need that popularity vote of confidence? Most will read this and be mad at me. If it was talking about men and on Sex and the city you would like it. So play on internet players. You are so good at it!And don't quit flirting on the internet for a guy, that would be asking you to give up too much fidlelity! You would have to resort to actually saving those conversations for one person, instead of fifty. I think I will stop on the way home tonight and just chat with fifty women. Ha ha, I would get called every name in the book if I did that at a bar. But its ok to hide behind a monitor and do it. You aren't seen by everyone. If you were dating someone, and you went out to find your date talking to 50- 100 men. What would you do? Then why is it ok to do online? Well now that I have expressed half of my thoughts on the subject, go ahead and hit me with the I am not an internet whore comments :) It will be fun.
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Now I realize this blog is very long .. but hold on to your cookies kids, it has the ride has only begun. I wanted to clearly make the distinction of my words, vs those written by that other person. So, let's go ahead and get this ball rolling .. lol!! :>
I don't know about everyone else, but logic would direct me to FIRST review my own friends list before even thinking about posting such words. The person that posted that blog has maybe 10 people on their friends list, 1 person being the famous Tom .. it should also be noted that this anonymous person is a male. Given that this male only has about 10 people on his friends list, how many of those do you think are male? Including Tom, maybe 2. Let's do a little math here .. 2 out of 10 people are male, that must mean 8 out of 10 are female. Let's break it down even further, if 2 out of 10 are male and 8 out of 10 are female, that means 20% = male and a whopping 80% are female!!! So genius, figure that one out. Are you merely speaking of how you think of yourself? I'm not a self-proclaimed genius or anything, however it doesn't take an idiot to figure this one out. Just bc you don't have an extensive friends list doesn't mean your theory can't be applied to yourself. Does it inflate your self-esteem by putting such poppycock out there for people to see? Ever think that maybe it is your lack of confidence that forces you to think like that? What makes you different from everyone else? Is that your guilty conscious coming out? I know for a fact you are not the most faithful guy out there .. this has been proven relationship after relationship. To be even more specific, I KNOW of 2 different occasions where 2 different women were at your house .. usually one squaking at the other. Oh yes, I said squaking .. there is a reason for that specific terminology. Cheating is cheating .. whether done on the i-net or not. As for the whole subject on the pics that people decide to pick .. we are all entitled to our own opinions. Just bc you think a certain way, doesn't mean other people agree. Kudos to you for putting up such "decent" pics .. go ahead and pat yourself on the back for that one. However, I will say this .. things are not always what they seem. Fact: you have been drunk more times in the past week than I have in the past 2 months. However, looking at your Beaverland profile you wouldn't be able to tell .. hmm .. interesting .. why not be yourself? What are you trying to hide?
Lastly, let's talk about comments that other people leave. Sure, people probably say the same things over and over again .. big deal. As stated at the beginning of my rant, LOOK AT YOUR OWN PAGE!! I really don't think much can be said. Based on a single comment left by one of the females on your page, your page went from being G-rated to material that should only be viewed by adult eyes.
Thought of the day: How do you think blogs such as the one you wrote make YOU look?
Ok .. obviously I just rabbit-trailed a bit .. it happens. For future reference, please don't share your intelligence w/others w/out first doing your research .. especially on your own battlegrounds. I've said it once, and I will say it again .. after reading the words in grey, reminds me of a word that starts w/an "H" and ends w/"YPOCRITE".
'Life reflects your own thoughts back to you.'
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Internet fidelity
Is it me? Or would a girl who has 100 guy friends and 10 girlfriends considered a little ~Loose? Or maybe risky? I am putting it very lightly. Maybe we can use the word whorish here… No by definition you cant, there isn't sex being exchanged. Flirty? What word would you describe a woman who interacts/flirts with fifty plus men a week/month, besides a truck driver cashier? This comment is not directed to any one person…because we all know that you are the one exception to the rule. It is funny how everyone is. "But seriously, I just use it to keep up with old friends," and "I know them all." WOW do you have a lot of old guy friends?! Did you used to be a hooker? I would bet that there are hookers that have less male clients than you're myspace account does... And still do well. So why is it that women seem to think they need so many men to flirt with at any given time. I have looked around, Right now, go to your comments and see how many men just stopped in to say hello? Hey baby? "Hey girl! how are you? thanx for the add. its been a long minute since we talked. Or How about the guy that just goes around and says "what a hottie!" to every girl. Droppin a line, girl how you been, lets get our party on, mmm I like to eat ice How do you think that makes you look? Hey maybe it is because you put the sexiest photo you could of yourself on the internet? Or one that portraits you out to a clubby? Maybe that is why all these random guys come along and are your friends. Here is one of my favorites.... I don't know why he is my buddy. I don't talk to him. Well genius, it is cause you said sure you can be my buddy. Cause that is the only way. So anybody here is someone you invited in. Which in turn, kind of shows how friendly you really are. Btw….look at all of those classy guys in your friends column. Birds of a feather… and who in the world would be shown holding a beer can? Besides most 19 year old guys trying to act cool? It just boggles my mind why we all think we need to have so many acquaintances only the fly. Are we all that insecure or need that popularity vote of confidence? Most will read this and be mad at me. If it was talking about men and on Sex and the city you would like it. So play on internet players. You are so good at it!And don't quit flirting on the internet for a guy, that would be asking you to give up too much fidlelity! You would have to resort to actually saving those conversations for one person, instead of fifty. I think I will stop on the way home tonight and just chat with fifty women. Ha ha, I would get called every name in the book if I did that at a bar. But its ok to hide behind a monitor and do it. You aren't seen by everyone. If you were dating someone, and you went out to find your date talking to 50- 100 men. What would you do? Then why is it ok to do online? Well now that I have expressed half of my thoughts on the subject, go ahead and hit me with the I am not an internet whore comments :) It will be fun.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now I realize this blog is very long .. but hold on to your cookies kids, it has the ride has only begun. I wanted to clearly make the distinction of my words, vs those written by that other person. So, let's go ahead and get this ball rolling .. lol!! :>
I don't know about everyone else, but logic would direct me to FIRST review my own friends list before even thinking about posting such words. The person that posted that blog has maybe 10 people on their friends list, 1 person being the famous Tom .. it should also be noted that this anonymous person is a male. Given that this male only has about 10 people on his friends list, how many of those do you think are male? Including Tom, maybe 2. Let's do a little math here .. 2 out of 10 people are male, that must mean 8 out of 10 are female. Let's break it down even further, if 2 out of 10 are male and 8 out of 10 are female, that means 20% = male and a whopping 80% are female!!! So genius, figure that one out. Are you merely speaking of how you think of yourself? I'm not a self-proclaimed genius or anything, however it doesn't take an idiot to figure this one out. Just bc you don't have an extensive friends list doesn't mean your theory can't be applied to yourself. Does it inflate your self-esteem by putting such poppycock out there for people to see? Ever think that maybe it is your lack of confidence that forces you to think like that? What makes you different from everyone else? Is that your guilty conscious coming out? I know for a fact you are not the most faithful guy out there .. this has been proven relationship after relationship. To be even more specific, I KNOW of 2 different occasions where 2 different women were at your house .. usually one squaking at the other. Oh yes, I said squaking .. there is a reason for that specific terminology. Cheating is cheating .. whether done on the i-net or not. As for the whole subject on the pics that people decide to pick .. we are all entitled to our own opinions. Just bc you think a certain way, doesn't mean other people agree. Kudos to you for putting up such "decent" pics .. go ahead and pat yourself on the back for that one. However, I will say this .. things are not always what they seem. Fact: you have been drunk more times in the past week than I have in the past 2 months. However, looking at your Beaverland profile you wouldn't be able to tell .. hmm .. interesting .. why not be yourself? What are you trying to hide?
Lastly, let's talk about comments that other people leave. Sure, people probably say the same things over and over again .. big deal. As stated at the beginning of my rant, LOOK AT YOUR OWN PAGE!! I really don't think much can be said. Based on a single comment left by one of the females on your page, your page went from being G-rated to material that should only be viewed by adult eyes.
Thought of the day: How do you think blogs such as the one you wrote make YOU look?
Ok .. obviously I just rabbit-trailed a bit .. it happens. For future reference, please don't share your intelligence w/others w/out first doing your research .. especially on your own battlegrounds. I've said it once, and I will say it again .. after reading the words in grey, reminds me of a word that starts w/an "H" and ends w/"YPOCRITE".
'Life reflects your own thoughts back to you.'
MTV Stole *MY* Idea .. LOL!
Oh wow! Another blog w/even more nonsense. I thought Myspace was addictive .. blogs are a nice way for me to express my thoughts w/out having people interrupt :>
So here I am relaxing and watching tv .. I flip to R(Reality)TVand guess what show is on .. anyone have a guess? It's called 'Why Can't I Be You' .. I really like the idea of the show .. in fact, I have given many people my spiel on this!
From what I gather about the show, there are 2 people .. one person, probably the underdog, wants to be someone that they have seen around. Well, that admired person is paid $1k to let the "underdog" stay w/them for 48 hours. What a great idea! Hard for me to believe RTV could even come up w/such a show. Finally, maybe people will get to see that sure .. the grass is always greener on the other side til you jump the fence and see all the shit. BTW, that is not a negative statement, it is a real statement .. we have have shit to deal with, it's just people usually handle situations in different ways.
Anyhoo though .. my point is, there is no point :> Seriously, maybe this show can serve as a good example to show that be careful of what you wish for, bc it might not be what you were hoping for. For instance, there are some females out there that long to be that "beautiful woman" .. whoever she might be? Not saying that people don't try to do things to dress themselves up or anything, just saying that some take it to such an extreme that they let it affect their self esteems and shit. Sometimes, "beauty" brings more attention .. however, that attention is not always positive. Please believe, there are A LOT of haters out there. Also, "beauty" might make some guys feel intimidated.
I say, be happy w/who you are and what you have. To me, beauty is more of who we are on the inside vs. our exterior. Umm .. looks like i got very distracted! Hehehe .. damned ADD!! :>
So here I am relaxing and watching tv .. I flip to R(Reality)TV
From what I gather about the show, there are 2 people .. one person, probably the underdog, wants to be someone that they have seen around. Well, that admired person is paid $1k to let the "underdog" stay w/them for 48 hours. What a great idea! Hard for me to believe RTV could even come up w/such a show. Finally, maybe people will get to see that sure .. the grass is always greener on the other side til you jump the fence and see all the shit. BTW, that is not a negative statement, it is a real statement .. we have have shit to deal with, it's just people usually handle situations in different ways.
Anyhoo though .. my point is, there is no point :> Seriously, maybe this show can serve as a good example to show that be careful of what you wish for, bc it might not be what you were hoping for. For instance, there are some females out there that long to be that "beautiful woman" .. whoever she might be? Not saying that people don't try to do things to dress themselves up or anything, just saying that some take it to such an extreme that they let it affect their self esteems and shit. Sometimes, "beauty" brings more attention .. however, that attention is not always positive. Please believe, there are A LOT of haters out there. Also, "beauty" might make some guys feel intimidated.
I say, be happy w/who you are and what you have. To me, beauty is more of who we are on the inside vs. our exterior. Umm .. looks like i got very distracted! Hehehe .. damned ADD!! :>
Good Advice
I saw this on someone's page and had to steal it .. very good words to remember!
Someone will always be prettier.
They will always be smarter.
Their house will be bigger.
They will drive a better car.
Their children will do better in school.
And their husband will fix more things around the house.
So let it go, and love you and your circumstances.
Think about it.
The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart.
And the most highly favored
Woman at your job may be unable to have children.
And the richest woman you know, she's got the car, the house, the clothes....might be lonely.
And the word says if "I have not Love, I am nothing."
So, again, love you.
Love who you are.
Look in the mirror in the morning and smile and say
"I am too blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be disappointed!"
"Winners make things happen. Losers let things happen."
Someone will always be prettier.
They will always be smarter.
Their house will be bigger.
They will drive a better car.
Their children will do better in school.
And their husband will fix more things around the house.
So let it go, and love you and your circumstances.
Think about it.
The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart.
And the most highly favored
Woman at your job may be unable to have children.
And the richest woman you know, she's got the car, the house, the clothes....might be lonely.
And the word says if "I have not Love, I am nothing."
So, again, love you.
Love who you are.
Look in the mirror in the morning and smile and say
"I am too blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be disappointed!"
"Winners make things happen. Losers let things happen."
Marrying your bestfriend ....???
A couple weeks ago, I had an interesting, yet confusing conversation w/someone about opposite sex best friends and marriage. I agree that your husband
The person I had this conversation with stated something along the lines of if several years down the road, he doesn't find anyone he wants to marry, he wouldn't have a problem marrying his best friend. This is where my brain turns to mush and gets confused .. if you can already see yourself marrying your best friend, why not try to be w/them now? I'm not saying that you have to get married or anything .. maybe have more of a romantic relationship?? I really don't know.
Are both people looking around to see if any better prospects enter the picture? Does one have more and/or different feelings for the other? Are they simply not ready for that kind of committment? Are they wasting the time(s) of any people that might have interest in them now? What happens if one gets married to someone other than the friend? Do either one of them use coy tactics w/the intention of sabotaging the other's potential relationships? Are one or both in denial? Are they just going to settle for each other?
Now, can you see/understand why my head spins? All these questions that linger in my brain and circle around this subject. Ya know .. maybe I am just missing completely missing some pieces to my puzzle.
So, let me know some of your thoughts about this .. maybe it will help my thinking come to some sort of peaceful resolve.
FYI ......
So, I've decided to put some of my blogs from another page here .. enjoy the fantastic reads!!
Thursday, July 26, 2007
A Tribute to Nice Guys
Someone sent this to me in an email. I know it's kind of lengthy, but very true .. I promise you will zip right thru it.
I couldn't have put these nice guy thoughts any better myself .. kudos to the person that put the time in to write it!! Also, at the end very end seems like they got tired of wirting .. lol! Keep reading, you'll see what I'm talking about.
Enjoy! :)
This is a tribute to the nice guys:
The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining/bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point.
This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on, but restrain themselves to tentative hugs. Those guys who hold open doors, give reassuring pats on the back, and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores.
This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. For the guys with open minds, laid-back attitudes, and honest concern. This is for the guys who respect a girl's every facet - from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is in honor of the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they're at her door. For the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population. For the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments, but give them out anyway.
For the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters. For the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material, but somehow don't end up being boyfriends. For all the nice guys who are over-looked, underestimated, and unappreciated. For all the nice guys who are manipulated, mis-led, and unjustly abandoned - this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. Even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn't worry about it.
This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you'd ever orchestrated in Halo2 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. Even though you thought it was immature (and you had nothing against the guy), you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor.
This is also for that time she didn't have a date. So after numerous vows that there was nothing "serious" between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where: you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone "oh, but we're just friends!". Even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways - because you're nice like that.
The nice guys don't often get credit where credit is due. Perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don't seem to get laid as often as they should. I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can't. From what I have observed on campus, and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches.
Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as: "oh, he's too nice to date" or "he would be a good boyfriend but he's not for me" or "he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn't possibly ask him out!" or the most frustrating of all "no, it would ruin our friendship." Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize/apologize for the men that are jerks.
Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can't figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!), and what they do (I'm going to sleep with this complete ass now!). One thing I can say is that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn't last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys - not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you're sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. The truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile.
For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate; for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero; my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.
Being the nice guy sucks. At first, it was kind of funny classifying yourself as the nice guy because I guarantee that you have done just about everything in this post about 100 times.
Why should it be that you have to treat girls like shit in order to get the one you want? There are like 3 types of girls you somehow get involved with:
1) The girl that I adore, but I'm "just a friend" and/or "I would never want to hurt you" and/or "I would make a good boyfriend/husband material, but not for me right now".
2) The girl that loves me and leaves me, or loves me way too much.
3) The girl that I'm really not attracted to/have no interest in/lost interest in, but it's a reliable piece of ass.
I couldn't have put these nice guy thoughts any better myself .. kudos to the person that put the time in to write it!! Also, at the end very end seems like they got tired of wirting .. lol! Keep reading, you'll see what I'm talking about.
Enjoy! :)
This is a tribute to the nice guys:
The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining/bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point.
This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on, but restrain themselves to tentative hugs. Those guys who hold open doors, give reassuring pats on the back, and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores.
This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. For the guys with open minds, laid-back attitudes, and honest concern. This is for the guys who respect a girl's every facet - from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is in honor of the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they're at her door. For the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population. For the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments, but give them out anyway.
For the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters. For the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material, but somehow don't end up being boyfriends. For all the nice guys who are over-looked, underestimated, and unappreciated. For all the nice guys who are manipulated, mis-led, and unjustly abandoned - this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. Even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn't worry about it.
This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you'd ever orchestrated in Halo2 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. Even though you thought it was immature (and you had nothing against the guy), you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor.
This is also for that time she didn't have a date. So after numerous vows that there was nothing "serious" between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where: you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone "oh, but we're just friends!". Even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways - because you're nice like that.
The nice guys don't often get credit where credit is due. Perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don't seem to get laid as often as they should. I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can't. From what I have observed on campus, and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches.
Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as: "oh, he's too nice to date" or "he would be a good boyfriend but he's not for me" or "he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn't possibly ask him out!" or the most frustrating of all "no, it would ruin our friendship." Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize/apologize for the men that are jerks.
Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can't figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!), and what they do (I'm going to sleep with this complete ass now!). One thing I can say is that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn't last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys - not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you're sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. The truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile.
For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate; for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero; my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.
Being the nice guy sucks. At first, it was kind of funny classifying yourself as the nice guy because I guarantee that you have done just about everything in this post about 100 times.
Why should it be that you have to treat girls like shit in order to get the one you want? There are like 3 types of girls you somehow get involved with:
1) The girl that I adore, but I'm "just a friend" and/or "I would never want to hurt you" and/or "I would make a good boyfriend/husband material, but not for me right now".
2) The girl that loves me and leaves me, or loves me way too much.
3) The girl that I'm really not attracted to/have no interest in/lost interest in, but it's a reliable piece of ass.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
*MY* Disclaimer
Well, here I am .. my first blog on Blogger. I don't really consider myself to be much of a writer, so please excuse any/all errors you may see. Similarly, I don't consider myself to be extremely creative, however I have been told I talk a lot. I do tend to ramble a bit - which can be very interesting. Hmm .. seems I'm also a bit redundant .. lol!
With so many people blogging, or somehow putting their thoughts out for the world to see, I can't help but to notice how one-sided their stories are - the many (important) details they leave out. It puts a lot of questions in my head: (1) does that person really feel that way, or is it just another call for attention; (2) do people actually believe their thoughts; (3) are people really that clueless (aka denial)? With all that being said, I will try to keep posts as fair as possible .. hahaha!!! :)
I have a feeling that some of my thoughts/ideas might even offend some people - if you don't like it, don't read it :) Besides, why would you allow someone like me affect you in such ways? We all have opinions .. it's what makes us individuals.
What a great first post .. brief and to the point .. kinda. :) Until next time ........... "may the force be with you" .................. !!!!!!!!! Oh yea!
With so many people blogging, or somehow putting their thoughts out for the world to see, I can't help but to notice how one-sided their stories are - the many (important) details they leave out. It puts a lot of questions in my head: (1) does that person really feel that way, or is it just another call for attention; (2) do people actually believe their thoughts; (3) are people really that clueless (aka denial)? With all that being said, I will try to keep posts as fair as possible .. hahaha!!! :)
I have a feeling that some of my thoughts/ideas might even offend some people - if you don't like it, don't read it :) Besides, why would you allow someone like me affect you in such ways? We all have opinions .. it's what makes us individuals.
What a great first post .. brief and to the point .. kinda. :) Until next time ........... "may the force be with you" .................. !!!!!!!!! Oh yea!
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