As w/most everyone else in Huntsville, I work out at the University Fitness Center (UFC) at UAH .. or, what I like to call "Club Fitness Center". I think the gym is a mini club .. or can be at times. I thought the primary purpose of the gym was to work-out .. the Club Fitness Center has proved otherwise. I'll go ahead and list some of my observations/comments (in no particular order):
~ The weight machines are not your personal phone booth .. get your ass off the machine and talk on the phone somewhere else .. please believe w/confidence that no one wants to watch you talk on the phone, rather they prefer to see how far they can stick the phone up your ass before it stops working.
~ You are occupying space and wasting oxygen by just sitting (or "resting") for an extended period of time on the exercise equipment .. again, move your ass and let the people that want to work out do what they want and/or need to do.
~ SPANDEX IS A PRIVILEGE, NOT A RIGHT - use w/caution!!!!
~ While we are on the subject of gym attire, let's go ahead and it put it out there. It's real simple folks .. just bc they make it "in your size" doesn't mean you have to wear it .. kudos to you for making it out to the gym .. but, remember you are probably there for a reason - the clothes you were able to fit into a few years ago .. well, they probably just don't fit the same .. keep your eye on the prize, and remember why you are probably there .... SO YOU CAN FIT INTO THOSE CLOTHES AGAIN!!!
~ Do NOT come up to me and ask me if I just got my hair cut 2 days after your work out buddy made the SAME observation while you were standing there - cya cool points!
~ Why am I at the gym? To work out! Why are you there? Move .. I'm trying to get my swolt on!
~ Do ya see the white earbuds in my ears attached to the white covered wires going down to my white iPod shuffle? Yes, I am listening to music .. so I don't have to talk to you .. *sigh*
~ I don't mind SIMPLE conversation .. so, don't sit there and try to draw out some unnecessary conversation w/me .. the more you talk, the more my body cools down .. shut up and move.
~ If you introduce me to your work out partner .. try not to introduce me in association w/my car - it's just a car folks .. it's something I refer to as my "mid-life crisis" .. if the health of your body goes to shit at the age of 24.5, why can't you have a mid-life crisis around that time? My car will more than likely be for sale by the end of the year .. if you like it that much, you can buy it from me for the low-low.
~ On the topic of conversation now .. telling me that you work on the Arsenal impresses me as much as watching my dog piss on the trees in my front yard .. try wathcing the 'Pick-Up Artist' or Google some better pick-up lines.
~ Speaking of the job topic .. randomly stating that you "make good money at your job" is equivalent to me painting my toenails -- can ya sense the excitement I exude w/the thought that I am going to do my toes after this blog .......
~ Do not follow me around the gym claiming to be my "moral support" .. thanks for the nice gesture, but if I needed "moral support" I would just hire a trainer. Please get a clue when I say things such as "you are making me lose count", "are you going to work out or just stand there", "are you finished w/your workout" .. you didn't get a clue when I said "I'm going upstairs to do my cardio now - no, you can't come w/me" .. hopefully, you will start to get a clue when I have to do cardio every time you come up to me ..
Hope my observations didn't offend anyone .. lol! I compiled this list for entertainment .. these are just some of the funnies I've witnessed/encountered while working out at Club UFC :) Soooo, hope it didn't offend anyone ....
Again ... INCOMING!!! Hate mail .. lol! :)
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